The Comedistorian: PEOPLE YOU SHOULD KNOW: PART 1- SIMO HAYHAH

Simo Hayhah was a simple farmer and hunter providing for his small family in the harsh forests of Finland leading into WWII. This man should be honored by all people as a example of how far a man will go to protect his family and the land he loves.

Simo grew up learning the layout of his farm and the forest around it and when he came of age, completed his mandatory year of army service at age 25. Even though he had only served a year, he was honorably discharged (my new band name) having achieved the rank of corporal. His next job was with the Finish Civil Guard where he was given what he would later become infamous for, a Russian modified Mosin-Nagat rifle. At the end of his service there it is said that he could hit a target 500 feet away 16 times in a minute. I think the only thing I've hit 16 times a minute is the Tinder "like" button.

1939 arrives. Hitler becomes the world's worst neighbor and Stalin invades Finland. The first town his army's reach is Simo's. The Finnish soldiers were as outnumbered as the Russian's were out skilled. The Finnish used a guerrilla style warfare tactic that they called "Motti". They knew the Russians had to use the roads to travel because they couldn't navigate the forest. So they would hide, wait until the Russians passed, and ambush from all sides. Also the size of the Russian army had it's own disadvantages that the Finnish were able to capitalize on. Different battalions spoke different dialects of Russian so in battle communication would fall apart quickly. Also, this coincidentally was the harshest winter in Finland in a long time. To put that into perspective, the winter was so severe even the Russians couldn't handle it. If you listen closely, you can hear Napoleon Bonaparte laughing from beyond the grave.

However the Finish being outnumbered did take a toll as the original 50 soldiers began to lessen and lessen every week. Simo decided to take it to the next level. He ventured out into the forest dressed in all white camouflage with his Mosin-Nagat and began protecting his country on a whole new level. Using only his iron sights, because a scope could give away his location with the glare from the sun, he killed any Russian solider foolish enough to cross into Finland.

Soon he was known by the Russian army as "The White Death" and became that front of the war's top priority. Soon, instead of patrols and scouts coming his way, it was full batallions and anti-sniper teams. Even those couldn't stop The White Death who was a ghost in the nightmares of Russian soldiers.

Stories of The White Death spread across the Soviet ranks and they responded with counter sniper teams and artillery strikes, which all failed miserably. Eventually a sniper barely missed Simo's head and hit a tree next to him. Unfortunately for Simo that was an explosive round and it sent Simo into a coma.

For 11 days, then he woke up on the day the Winter War was over.

Over the course of 100 days, Simo had killed an estimated 500 Soviet soldiers with his rifle, sub machine gun, and knife, backed by Simo's determination to protect his family.

Simo lived to be 97 years old and is a hero in Finnish history, as he should be.